Sleepless Night
by EmeraldV
Summary: A restless Cecily visits Jem for some much needed advice.


Cecily paced around the room. It was a rather simple bedroom, a bed, some pieces of furniture, and a large window looking out to the entrance of the Institute. Long past midnight and sleep did not come. It had been one of those nights where she could not stop thinking- _thinking_ about her parents, _thinking_ about her decision to be a shadowhunter, and_ thinking_ about Will…

She balled her fists just thinking about_ him,_ sending an angry shudder through her. Cecily had not been sure what to expect when she arrived at the institute but it definitely wasn't this. Ever since she showed up three months ago, when he was not avoiding her they were falling into an argument. Will made it clear that he did not want her here. He never once said he was happy to see her.

_So unreasonable_, she thought angrily. He had explained a few days after she arrived, why he left her and their parents, a curse that was never true. _But still_, he loved being a shadowhunter! She could why, the fighting and all the adventure.

Cecily walked towards the door and threw it open. She needed to talk to _somebody_ before she drove herself mad. She recognized the corridors, unlike when she first arrived and everything looked the same. _Had three months really passed by? _Arriving at his door, she was suddenly nervous and aware at her odd appearance, a loose shirt and trousers. Cecily only wore trousers to bed, they were comfortable and even though it was not appropriate she reasoned that nobody was going to see her in them. Her long black hair fell past her shoulders and she ran her fingers through it trying to tame it down. Deciding it was too late to go back, she took a deep breath and knocked quietly.

There was a long pause. _Maybe he's sleeping?_

"Come in," he said in a curious tone.

Cecily turned the door handle and found Jem sitting on the trunk in front of his bed.

_He glows like the moonlight_, she thought, _with his silver hair and eyes, incredibly pale skin_. Closing the door behind her, she noted that he still wore the same clothes as yesterday. It was the second time she had been in here, the first being during a tour of the Institute.

Jem's face had broken into a smile. It was so genuine that Cecily realized she was smiling back at him without meaning to.

"Hi," she said, walk to the armchair and settled down. "What are you doing at this ungodly hour?"

"Cleaning my violin," he replied lightly as if it was perfectly normal that Cecily was here. He placed his violin gently next to him and turned his attention to her."Are you alright?"

"No."

Cecily did not where to begin. There was so much wrong and it was painful to think about let alone talk about it. She stared at her hands, hoping he would not ask her to leave.

"Is this about your brother and the fight you two had yesterday?" he asked with concern in his voice.

"Yes," she admitted and made a face at him. "He is just so- he treats me like a child! Ever since I showed up he has been avoiding me. Not that I want to speak with him. He left me, he left us!" Cecily was breathing heavily.

_What are you doing_? she thought, _you are the one that sounds like a child not Will_. She looked across at Jem and found no judgment in his eyes.

"This is stupid," she got up and walked to the door

"No Cecily-wait," he grabbed at arm as she walked past him, "You can talk to me. You do not have to push everyone away." He pulled her and guided her to sit on the edge of the bed while he stood in front of her.

"I understand you are very angry and the situation with your brother is not getting any better." Cecily nodded in agreement. "The thing _is _that you both are so similar but are too stubborn to see it" he chuckled at the last part. "He loves you" he said very seriously "and you love him too right?"

"How can you love someone who broke your heart?" she asked earnestly. "We were never the same after he left, he destroyed our family!"

Jem reached into his trouser pocket and took out a handkerchief, he handed it to her. She muttered thanks and wiped her cheeks.

Jem settled on the bed next to her, "I know anger and I know pain." His voice was so soft that the anxiety she felt before was calming. "When my parents were killed, my world fell apart. It took a long time not to hate my life, to hate everyone. I believe that because tyou know why Will really left, your fury will fade. What he did-he did out of love. If you are worried about your parents hate you for leaving then think no more of it. Part of growing up his making your own decisions, doing what you happy like wearing trousers" he grinned at her.

"Hey! They keep me warm at night and why are boys only allowed to indulge?"

Jem pretended to be thoughtful and said, "Okay I will give you that. You know you can always talk to Tessa too right? Woman to woman"

Cecily internally flinched, Tessa was not who Jem thought she was. It was not long after Cecily arrived that she noticed there was something between her and her brother. When Jem was not looking, Tessa would cast stolen glances at Will and her eyes would lighten up every time he walked in the room. Cecily did not know herself what love felt like but she could literally sense it between the two of them.

_Jem has the right to know! Maybe I could tell him right now!_ she thought, _but you have no evidence so why would he believe you?_

"I have trouble making friends with girls" she said quietly. Hoping he would drop the subject she asked, "Why can't you sleep?"

Jem looked away from her and shrugged, "Are you training later today?"

Cecily smiled at him and thought this was one of Jem's best abilities, the fact that she came in a complete mess and now she was so relaxed that she could lie down on Jem's bed and fall asleep.

"Yes but did you know I am already an experienced fighter?" she asked keeping their gazes locked.

"Oh really?" he mused.

"Mhm" Her fingers got a hold of the object. In a quick motion she swung the pillow and hit Jem lightly on the head.

"Did you just-" His face was in complete shock but began laughing so hard he could not finish his sentence.

"And you call yourself a shadowhunter" she mocked and laughed as well.

"You are in so much trouble" he threatened.

Cecily stuck out her tongue at him and ran for the door. Giggling she threw it open with Jem two steps behind her.

Standing in the hallways between Jem's bedroom and Tessa's bedroom was Will. A second later, Tessa opened her door and looked utterly surprised to find them all standing outside her door.

Something about the situation made Cecily burst with laughter. "Good night everyone" she turned and walk away.

"It's closer to morning," Will said gravely.

"Then I will see you in a few hours for breakfast," she retorted over her shoulder.

Back in her room, Cecily laid down on the bed. She was so relieved that she had gone to Jem. There was nothing romantic about her feeling for him, she thought of him more as a brother. He was strong for her now but there would be day where he would need her to be strong for him. _I forgive you Will_ and with that last thought sleep finally overcame her.


End file.
